The odour of feminity and queenology is concentrated in the air. Podcasts, blogs, videos and books, just to mention but a few, aimed at ‘empowering’ the woman are everywhere. The woman, who was considered weak, has now been ‘uplifted’ to compete with those of greater ‘strength’ than her. And it’s true they rock the business world. I mean, who can stop a woman determined to get her crown? None but God. Yet I can’t help but notice one aspect that has greatly been neglected, family.
A wise woman seals her home together like glue but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. So much has been taught to empower the woman in terms of conquering the world but so little on how to conquer her home. To add salt to the injury, even less information has been divulged for the kings. So I tend to wonder why we keep creating queens in a world without Kings. It is no wonder then that some decide to settle with those of their own, queens for queens.
Once I started on my ‘queen-ology’ journey, I quickly realized how that would probably be my sabotage. Reason being, it was obvious that those meant to be preparing for the throne and receiving their queens were nowhere to be found. No one was teaching the boys how to be men, how to treat a woman, how to choose a woman, how to make a home. It was clearly every man for himself, hit and run, act now think later. So many boys trapped in the bodies of men. The face looks mature but the heart is still that of a hurt little boy. Granted, most queens are only able to grow because of the vast information provided for them.
For this, I cannot help but feel that the family unit has greatly failed us. It is in the family that the greatest lessons should be taught first. Responsibility, love, peace, unity, hard work etc. Why do I say this? Because the greatest time to form an adult is when they are a child. You form a man from when they are boys and a woman when they are girls. You don’t wait for the cement to harden up so you can smoothen the pavement. Yet we think that we can treat children as we please because they won’t remember anyway. They might forget what you did but their subconscious shall never forget the emotions they felt.
Then later on, we wonder how the world came to be infiltrated with so many ‘cowards’. When the truth is, family has failed us. When the needs of a child are not met in their helpless states, their subconscious interprets that as every man for himself. The child grows up scared to express itself because they think no one can help them anyway. Every time you let that child cry until their eyes run dry while you go on about your business you broke a part of them. So they grow up scared of being vulnerable lest they become rejected and get their hearts broken, again. Instead of letting the child in them flourish and grow when time is right, you force perfection on them. Scold them for playing in the mud no matter how much fun that felt for their tiny hearts. Thus, they think they are defective, stupid, not good enough. They feel misunderstood, trapped.
See, for a child, they are not wired to blame others for how they are treated, they are wired to blame themselves. The most fragile state of a person’s existence is their childhood state. Every emotion that was tapped into their subconscious comes to reveal itself when they are adults. In their interaction with other people, in friendships, relationships, with strangers and with family. So, I ask again, queens for who? If the world is full of adults stuck in their childhood traumas, how can we expect our relations to thrive? Modern day queens are formed just to go struggle with a boy (stuck in the body of a man) who doesn’t know how to treat royalty. And sometimes, we have a king who lands with a girl (stuck in the body of a woman) that breaks him because she’s broken too and he doesn’t realize so. We need a healing.
